"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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