I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
