Who wears a wallet chain?!
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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