You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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