I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
