Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
You have to summon your inner elephant
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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