Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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