She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
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