Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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