A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
