What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
