But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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