She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
