The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I think your dad took our porno
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
