how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
