remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
