I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
