Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
