We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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