i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
