Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
