I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I look better un-naked...
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
