I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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