So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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