Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
