Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
