There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
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