I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
