I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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