were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
wow bdsm is so cute
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