I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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