I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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