I have demons in me.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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