My nipple is on Facebook.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
You need a sexual gate keeper
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
