My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
