So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
