Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
