Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
