no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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