You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
