I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
