Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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