I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
