I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
