sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
