And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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