Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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