You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
