I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
