i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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