It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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