Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
