Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
