she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Randomize