I cut my penus on the lid.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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