I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
