Say something about gay babies.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
