I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize