I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
wow bdsm is so cute
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
