I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
