I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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