I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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