Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I'm too high and old for this...
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