i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
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