just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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