I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
